


If You See Light

by keraunoscopia



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Budding Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:42:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16664440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keraunoscopia/pseuds/keraunoscopia
Summary: “Are you going to let me in?” Lucas offers gently, pulling Vic’s attention away from ice blue of his eyes, back to the moment, and she steps to the side, letting him in. It isn’t the first time he’s been here, but this seems different, and for the life of her, Vic can’t seem to figure out what it is, gnawing at her stomach.“I wasn’t expecting you tonight."





	If You See Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChameleonCircuit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/gifts).



> From a tumblr prompt by sofuckingchuffed. 
> 
> Still taking prompts at whisperingvictory.tumblr.com!

Whatever it is, Vic is sure that it has an expiration date. It has been going on for a few months now, and things are easy, too easy, and complicated at the same time. Because he’s the fire chief, he’s her boss. He’s her boss’s boss’s boss. But when they’re alone, when it’s just the two of them, none of that really seems to matter. They’re just two people, incredibly attracted to each other. Two people who fit together so well, two people willing to set aside professionalism, the pretenses, the formalities, and just be. 

But it’s not the sustainable sort of dynamic. It burns bright, and hot, and dissipates as quickly as it appears. Vic hasn’t concerned herself with that fear though, not yet. Not when Lucas shows up at her door at night, after her shift has ended like he knows what her schedule is, like he’s made sure to check, that he cares enough to give her time to settle in, let her hair down. 

Snow has started to fall somewhere between her drive home and the doorbell, and there’s a light white dusting across the lawn in front of her building, tiny, light flakes still falling with the sort of leisure that Vic feels too, knowing that she has the day off tomorrow, that the night can last as long as she wants it to. 

Snowflakes have settled in the soft waves of Lucas’s hair in the short walk from the parking lot to the entryway, a few flakes clinging to his eyelashes, and Vic is struck silent for a moment, the way she seems to be every time he shows up unannounced, warmth blooming in her chest even despite the bitter cold drifting through the open door. Lucas’s sweater, dark navy and cable knit offers him some sort of protection, but Vic hadn’t thought to bother before answering, tiny bumps rising on exposed skin. 

“Are you going to let me in?” Lucas offers gently, pulling Vic’s attention away from ice blue of his eyes, back to the moment, and she steps to the side, letting him in. It isn’t the first time he’s been here, in her home. It isn’t even the second. In the past three months, they’ve ended up here at least once a week, sometimes more. But this seems different, and for the life of her, Vic can’t seem to figure out what it is, gnawing at her stomach. 

“I wasn’t expecting you tonight,” she explains as she closes the door behind him, gesturing to her outfit, flannel pajama pants, a tank top. Lucas’s gaze drifts down her frame, wordlessly, but she can feel the gentle appreciation, that it doesn’t matter what she wears, that her uniform, or a dress, pajamas, nothing, none of it would make a difference to him. She’s never had that before, outside of a relationship at least. And it’s not, Vic has to remind herself, it’s not a relationship, even as often as they see each other, even though the conversation seems to come just as easily as anything physical. 

“I can leave,” Lucas offers finally, returning his gaze to hers, eyes dark with an intensity that she can’t quite place. She’s seen it before, but now it has no context, no explanation, and she’s not sure she can ask. “If you wanted the night to yourself…” he adds. 

Vic shakes her head, and steps forward, pressing her body against his, hands immediately at the buttons of his jacket, unfastening each with steady determination. She may not have been expecting him, may not have planned on spending the night with him again, two days in a row, but she has no intention of turning him away. If she’s being honest with herself, Vic isn’t certain that she’d even be able to if she wanted to. 

Lucas catches her wrists when she gets to the last button, stopping her from pushing the coat off his shoulders, and she looks up, surprised. Despite his position, his authority, the fact that he’s her boss’s boss’s boss, for the last three months, he’s let Vic set the pace, following her lead. She opens her mouth to ask, but he beats her to it. “You don’t have to, just because I’m here, just because we have. I’m the chief but you can still say no.” There’s a sort of gravity to his tone that takes her aback, and she’s surprised really, given how much she’s pushed him, that he still thinks he could be taking advantage. 

“I know I can,” Vic replies simply, with an impish sort of grin, pulling her wrists from his grip to push the jacket down over his shoulders. “I think you’ll recall I was pretty good at talking back even when things were strictly professional,” she adds teasingly, tugging at the hem of his sweater. She expects a smile, or an eyeroll, the reactions she usually gets when she teases him, but she can see the muscles in his jaw clench as she looks up at him, lifting his chin ever so slightly. “What?” She asks, cocking her head to the side, the grin on her face falling. 

“Nothing,” Lucas shakes his head, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck to pull her into a kiss, and any concern that she’d had, that maybe he was doubting this, that maybe it was getting to be too much, they’re gone. Vic doesn’t break the kiss, just leans in with more urgency, hands sliding up under the hem of his shirt, splayed across his stomach before falling to the waistband of his jeans, nimble fingers pulling open his belt buckle. 

She’s used to setting the pace, used to being the one charing boldly ahead, a little more urgent, a little more impatient, but this is different, because she can feel the resistance, the way he seems intent to linger against her lips, hands held fast against her skin. 

She pulls back, hands falling away from him, and Lucas looks startled, or surprised, some expression that she can’t quite read. “What’s wrong?” She repeats, certain now that it’s something. But Lucas just shakes his head again, steps back in towards her. 

Vic takes another step back, “no there’s something. You don’t seem like yourself tonight.” And maybe she shouldn’t push, maybe she shouldn’t say anything, because he’s here, and willing and wanting, because that’s all that’s ever been between them. 

“You don’t want to hear me talk, that’s not what this is,” Lucas sort of mutters, and Vic hates how much it feels like a knife to her chest to hear him say it. It’s not like she’s had any misconceptions, she knows what it is. But still, to hear him say it aloud, to confirm her suspicions stings. 

“We haven’t actually talked about what this is, have we?” Vic asks with a raised eyebrow. Because no one has ever accused her of lacking guts. “You can talk to me,” she adds, stepping in towards him again, hands settled on his hips, but her touch is different, and they both know it. There’s no urgency, no expectation, just gentle, and decidedly intimate. It’s an offering, one that will change things between them irrevocably. And she hadn’t contemplated the decision before she made it, hadn’t thought it through. But then thinking things through has never been her strong suit, and she’s never been one for regret. 

“I didn’t come here to burden you, I just,” his voice trails off, like he’s searching for the words to explain why he did come, and Vic wonders if he even knows. Was it physical comfort that he was seeking out, or a distraction from whatever it is that’s eating at him? Or did he want this to be something more too?

“Talking about what’s bothering you isn’t a burden,” Vic replies like it’s obvious, and in this context, it is, because she wants nothing more than to know what’s going on in his head, wants nothing more than for Lucas to let her in. She tightens her grip on his side, and coaxes him towards the couch, sits down cross legged next to him, eyes open and earnest, intently ready to listen. 

“I don’t know how to put it into words,” Lucas speaks softly, head bowed, eyes trained on where Vic’s hand rests on his thigh, offering gentle reassurance. “Sometimes everything is just so overwhelming, all the noise, the problems I have to solve, the decisions I have to make, I just… I’ve made mistakes, and it’s so loud, everything feels so loud,” his voice trails off as he looks up at her, hand reaching up to trace a single spiral curl framing her face, “everything is just so clear with you.”

Vic can feel her mouth go dry, and the look Lucas gives her is so intense, so piercing that she feels like she should shy away, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just swallows the lump in her throat, “you can always come here,” her voice is nothing more than a hushed whisper, all the confidence lost on her in that moment, because this is uncharted territory, this is uncertainty, and questions. She’s acutely aware of how exposed she feels, how open and raw. “It doesn’t have to be for sex,” Vic adds, “you can always come here.” 

Lucas’s hand settles on her cheek, and she leans into it, heart pounding in her chest, an erratic thrum against her rib cage. “We’ve done professional,” he says, voice a hoarse whisper, “and casual. You deserve more than that. I want more than that. If you do.” She can see the doubt on his face, the worry. 

Vic just nods, can’t quite find the words. She hadn’t thought about it before, hadn’t let herself think about it, but she doesn’t need to think about it. She just knows. “I do want more.”


End file.
